My Heart, His Words

Let the Words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your site, O Lord.

What’s Next?

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The planner in me, is forever asking “What’s next?” After a great success, I rarely take much time to celebrate or even rest before I’m off & running to the next project, task or goal.  “Go, go, go!”  is just how I’m wired!

Right now, my life is filled to the brim. I work a full-time job, run a “side” business with my husband, help raise his son, we’re trying to conceive & now I’m blogging!  My cup runneth over, no doubt!

Today, I find myself asking, “What’s Next?” Not because I don’t have enough on my plate already, but because I’m questioning my boundaries as well as my focus & goals. (Check out this amazing post I read today on boundaries!)

We’re trying to conceive & I’m trying not to fret about it. As my Mom says, “Let nature takes it’s course. Not everything has  to be so scientific.”  She’s right you know!?  We live in a world that constantly strives to understand every dot & tiddle, tries to map out every journey & tries to predict the outcome of every situation.  Where is God in all of that?  Don’t get me wrong, I’m a planner, I understand the need for, & crave order, organization & planning.  However, I love the saying I occasionally see that says, “I plan, God laughs”.

Being 35, and trying to conceive, a few well-meaning people in my life, have asked if I’m using an ovulation predictor kit, or if I plan on trying Clomid to “boost” my chances of pregnancy.  My heart clearly says “no thank you” to all outside help. However, I’d be lying if I told you that the planner in me isn’t tempted to try at least the ovulation predictor kits.  I’m a planner… why not plan this? However, this is precisely the thing I feel God whispering to my heart:

trust me

At this time in my life, God is truly breaking, molding & making me into the woman He desires me to be. I keep finding myself at a state of brokenness, right when I feel like I have it all together.  It’s humbling to know I really don’t have it all together, it’s challenging to let go, and it’s exciting because it’s bringing a little spontaneity into my over-planned life!

So if it takes me a year to get pregnant, then I choose to accept that as part of God’s plan. I may not understand it, I may not even like it, but my heart chooses to trust the very God who made me in my mother’s womb & who numbered every hair on my head. I choose to trust the God who hung the moon & stars, who has placed a call on my life, planted the desire of motherhood in my heart & blessed me with a husband willing to give me the greatest desires of my heart. I choose to trust God.

psalm 28.7

How about you? Is there something you’re holding on so tightly to, for fear that if you let go, God will forget? Friend, I feel your pain, I understand your worry, but I am here to say, God’s timing can’t be beat! He’s got it under control… He & only He knows what’s next!

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5 thoughts on “What’s Next?

  1. This blog is really sweet! And SO true! We can’t micromanage everything…and we’ll kill ourselves trying. Letting in a little free time and seeing what happens is actually kind of fun! (sometimes) 🙂 🙂

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  2. Pingback: My God-sized Dreams Backstory – My Heart His Words

  3. Thanks for leaving this post’s address in the comments on my blog, Satin! I know this is hard, but you are right — God’s timing is perfect! We may not understand His thoughts, but we can count on His wisdom! He knows what is best for us. And just like the verse on my blog says, “let your heart take courage”!! God is by your side!

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  4. Pingback: Jesus in You – My Heart, His Words

  5. Pingback: A Year of Believing | My Heart, His Words

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