My Heart, His Words

Let the Words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your site, O Lord.


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A Not So Merry Christmas

As you know, this has been a very difficult year for me as I journey through the loss of my truth teller, business advisor, and Daddy. I miss him deeply, so although Christmas has always been one of my favorite holidays, this year, it’s not quite as merry for me.

Then it dawned on me… the first Christmas ever, wasn’t really all that merry either!

Here’s Joseph and Mary journeying to Bethlehem via a donkey for miles on end, all while Mary is pregnant! Talk about a road trip, they had the ultimate road trip! (ha ha) Upon their arrival, they discover there is “no room in the inn”; so ended up in a dirty stable surrounded by stinky farm animals. Talk about disappointment and discomfort! Then to top it off, Mary goes into labor and gives birth to Jesus amidst the stink and filth of this barn.

And there it is: right smack dab in the middle of the chaos, discomfort, stink and dirt.
Beautiful LOVE is Born.
Jesus, God as Love in the flesh, came to earth to save us all!
isaiah-61-1-3

This realization helps put my life into perspective this Christmas. I might not be perfectly put together with a pretty bow, but nonetheless, I’m here. My heart beats on for the One who Created me and placed me here For Such a Time as This. My heart may hurt for a season, but God has amazing plans for me as I walk this journey of grief and allow Him to turn my mourning into joy. There truly is a season for everything and for now, my season is one of mourning and that’s not something to be ashamed of nor to hide! It’s reality and it’s part of the growth necessary to heal.

In due time God will turn my mourning into joy and my Christmases will return to Merry, but for now I embrace this time as I reflect on all that God has done in and through my Daddy’s life and now his legacy. He was an amazing and Godly man; passionate about Truth and justice and living life to the fullest while staying true to ones self.

Daddy, this Christmas, you get to sit next to the Savior of the world and bask in His presence, surrounded by His infinite love and wisdom. May we too be surrounded by that same Love and wisdom, compassion and joy as we enter a season that truly is about the One who loves us so much He humbled himself and came to earth to redeem us for all of eternity!  That truth is what makes Christmas Merry.

Wishing you and yours a blessed Christmas as you bask in God’s goodness and love.

love satin 2015


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God’s Provision Isn’t Always What We Expect It To Be

Last year I wrote about The Beauty Of God’s Provision and in my post I shared the promise God had given me regarding our business when we first started Pelfreybilt:

“I will provide. I will always provide.”

We are now in our fifth year of the business, with changes galore, including Tyler quitting his full-time job this year to work in our business full-time, as well as moving the business to a bigger facility.  Our sales have doubled every year and tripled last year, yet we still aren’t showing  a profit yet, so there are days when my faith is tested and I take God’s promise to Him questioning His provision.

In the past, money was always available just in time so bills were paid on time and I was reminded of God’s provision as I sighed a sigh of relief and gratitude.

This year, God apparently wanted to test and grow my faith because the funds haven’t always arrived in time for me to pay bills on time, which meant I had to make calls to our vendors asking for grace and extended terms. Through God’s mercy our vendors have been gracious and worked with us.  I have to be honest though, it was in those moments, when bills were late and I had to make those calls, that I cried out to God “You made me a promise! You said you would not only provide, but that you would always provide! You’ve never been late to deliver, so why are you late now? Did you forget about your promise?”  What He spoke in response cut deep to my core as He reminded me:

“I said I would provide and I did.
It just wasn’t the provision you expected.
Did I not soften the hearts of those who extended you terms?
That is provision; it just looks different than you expected!”

Wow, right? Talk about jaw dropping, heart stopping amazing truth!? God is amazing and He never ceases to amaze me as He continues to keep His promises to me and our family.

This lesson was one I’d never learned and one that sticks to me like glue now, so I am tremendously grateful for the testing of my faith in this area of my life!

As the year is quickly coming to an end, and I look back at all this 2016 chapter held, I am moved to tears. God is good regardless of the pain. Losing my Daddy, though the most painful thing I’ve experienced, has pushed me to a deeper faith in my walk with God as I put the truths my Daddy taught me into action:

Question everything and everyone-even God.
God is a God of Truth and He desires nothing more
than to give us the answers we seek if we will seek Him.

That said, whatever it is you may be questioning or seeking from God-don’t quit asking and don’t quit questioning Him! Some people are afraid to question God for fear of damnation, but my Daddy taught me to Question the Man with all the answers in order to have Truth only He can give and that’s how I choose to live my life! How about you?

So question on… but remember, the answer(s) may surprise you!

Blessings,

love satin 2015