My Heart, His Words

Let the Words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your site, O Lord.


5 Comments

Shine On, Friend!

sunshine begins

“He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.” {Job 8:21}

Life is full of disappointments, stress and pain, but we have a promise that amidst our deepest valleys, there is One who will fill our mouth with laughter and give us JOY from deep within!

I know many of you are experiencing some extremely challenging times. You’ve lost jobs, lost loved ones, or received bad news about someone you love.  A spouse walked out, you’ve been diagnosed with a disease that has no cure, or you’ve even lost a piece of yourself amidst your pain.  Think of Job. He had everything. God had blessed him abundantly… then he lost it all.

What was Job’s response to his loss?

Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him” {Job 13:15}

Did Job deny his anguish and pretend his journey was “peachy keen”? Absolutely not! He bore his soul to God, crying out for mercy, and with anguish, he begged for deliverance from his affliction.

Us, my friend, are called to do the same thing; to pour our hearts out to our Loving Father, who knows our hearts and longs to comfort us when we are hurting.

Amidst Job’s affliction he found these words:

“Look, I go forward, but He is not there,
And backward, but I cannot perceive Him;
When He works on the left hand, I cannot behold Him;
When He turns to the right hand, I cannot see Him.
But He knows the way that I take;
When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold.
My foot has held fast to His steps;
I have kept His way and not turned aside.
I have not departed from the commandment of His lips;
I have treasured the words of His mouth
More than my necessary food.”
{Job 23:8-12}

Friend, when we hit our knees and pour our hearts out to God, He hears us! Often we do not see His hand at work, no matter what we do. Sometimes He doesn’t heal us, sometimes He doesn’t give us what we’re asking for and sometimes He allows more pain than we ever thought we could endure…

But He is always, always there.

He is REFINING us.

He is MOLDING us.

He is HOLDING us.

And when He is done, we will Shine like the Son, for His righteousness will shine through us like never before & we will behold his glory, in everything we do and say.

He IS our Redeemer.

He IS our Provider.

He IS our Everything.

May you cling to His promises, without seeing them come to fruition.

May you allow His JOY to deeply root within your heart, so His joy radiates within your smile.

Shine on, my friend, the Son is within you, Shine on!

love satin2

I enjoy linking up with these (3) fabulous communities:
coffee for your heart-Button-250x250whitespace-badge3 word wednesday


7 Comments

Most Perfect Curve

curves of a smile

While reading Ann Voskamp’s post it made me think of my husbands words most recently when I asked him how he really feels about me quitting my full-time job to pursue our business full-time.

“I feel good about it! I finally get my wife back!” Those words spoke two things to me:

  • My happiness is reflected in the smile upon my face
  • My husbands happiness is directly affected by own happiness

On my Journey to Rest I shared of my struggle to relinquish control, to ask for help and ultimately to trust God to be my provider in all things. Now, as my husband and I have made this life changing decision, I am pursuing a life of more purposeful, less distracted living.

Reading Hands Free Mama is really opening my eyes to just how much the happiness of my husband, stepson, our family and friends are all directly affected by my own happiness or the lack their of! As I mentioned before, I am truly blessed, and my heart has never lost sight of that. However, my life choices haven’t lent to reflecting the fruit of my gratitude because I haven’t allowed myself enough time for rest, nor have I been living a balanced life.

“In one simple, beautiful gesture, my daughter cemented
my newfound pursuit to live Hands Free.

I realized with clarity that thisthis pausing,
when the whole world keeps on going-is living.
{Rachel Macy Stafford}

Friends, it is our choice! We can choose to keep saying yes to the people and things that don’t matter, while saying no to those we love the most, or we can embrace a Hands Free, life that yields abundant joy, treasured memories and tremendous peace and health!

1 Corinthians 16:14 says “Let all you do be done in love,”

How can we fully love, if we are not fully present?

For some of us, technology is our weakness; email, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest. While for others of us, it’s our jobs or work.  I know for me, it’s been both! I’ve spent the past two and a half years, busting my bottom at a full-time job while trying to build a business with my husband that will sustain our family.  I don’t consider it a bad thing by any means, but I have had to make sacrifices on this journey.  I’ve sacrificed personal time, fitness and health. I’ve sacrificed family time and time with my husband.

While sacrifice is necessary to achieve any goal we set, there has to be balance and that is something I’ve struggled with over the years.

“I need to be reminded that I could complain less,
cherish more, let go of the have-tos,
and say yes more often.
I need to be reminded that although
sunsets and goodbyes happen every day,
each one should be treated as if it’s the last.
I need to be reminded that real living happens
when I peel away the distractions and
hold my perfectly imperfect life
tenderly in my hands.
And someday, I’ll be grateful I didn’t miss my life.”
{Rachel Macy Stafford}

So how about those curves?

Are you smiling?

Is your life so busy, you find yourself frustrated, in tears or on the brink of a break-down at any given moment? That’s been me for the past year and if that’s you today, I can’t encourage you enough to embrace this truth:

The only person who can protect my time is me!

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
Proverbs 4:23

 I hope you’ll join me on my #handsfree journey! I’d love to hear about yours as well!

love satin2

I enjoy linking up with these (3) fabulous communities:
coffee for your heart-Button-250x250whitespace-badge3 word wednesday


10 Comments

Heart of Gratitude

psalm 118 1

Over the weekend, I spent some time shopping at my favorite Resale Shop My Sister’s Closet. While paying, the cashier asked about my weekend and if I had Labor Day off. I responded, “Yes I do, and I am so grateful.” Her response surprised me, when she had an expression of surprise as she said, “Wow! That’s not a term you hear much these days!” I smiled and replied, “Well, I have much to be grateful for; I am truly blessed”.

The cashiers surprise at my verbalization of gratitude really sunk deep into my heart as I began to think more about my own life expressions of gratitude.

If I’m honest, in the past two and a half years, I’ve become so consumed with starting and growing our business, that my life hasn’t always reflected one of gratitude, so today, I’d like to pause and give thanks to God for His tremendous blessings in my life during the past two years.

1) My heart is full because God has blessed me with a husband who loves me to the fullest. {Ecclesiastes 4:9-12} Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:  If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”

2) Two years and four months ago my dad was diagnosed with cancer. I am so grateful for the time we have shared and will continue to share together until Jesus takes him home. {2 Samuel 24:14} “I am in great distress. Let us now fall into the hand of the LORD for His mercies are great, but do not let me fall into the hand of man.”

3) Within the past two and a half years, God has expanded our business.  I couldn’t be more grateful to be fulfilling a dream of mine to be self-employed and serving along side my husband in our business. {Luke 6:38} “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

4) Oh the joy that has come from seeing another goal achieved together, as God provided the means and blessed us with a beautiful house we call home. {Joshua 24:14} “As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

5) Late last year God provided the opportunity for my husband to have a vasectomy reversal, so we can expand our family.  I look forward to having a child of our own together one day… all in God’s time. {Psalm 37:4} Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

My life is truly blessed and my heart is truly grateful!

* * *

In an effort to embrace a life of more purposeful, less distracted living, I am starting a new blogging series based on Rachel Macy Stafford’s book Hands Free Mama and am inviting you on my journey.  You may purchase the book here, or simply follow along as I blog through her Godly words of wisdom. After reading Bonnie Gray’s book Finding Spiritual Whitespace, my heart is longing for a lifestyle of balance and rest; Hands Free Mama is yet another tool God placed in my life for such a time as this.  Won’t you join me?

See you next week!

love satin2

I enjoy linking up with these (3) fabulous communities:
coffee for your heart-Button-250x250whitespace-badge3 word wednesday


10 Comments

Choosing To Believe

butterfly on many flowers

My last two posts have been about my struggle to fully be where I am and to release my control and fear to Jesus, clinging to His promise to always provide.

The word God impressed on my heart as for 2014, was believe. (Read more here)  God whispered to my heart, that this would be the year to take my belief from a verbal statement, to an action; a movement, a calling.

It amazes me how God always prepares His children for what is to come, even with just a word, if only we will have ears to hear!  Eight months ago I had no idea that I would be quitting my job of seven years to pursue our business full time!

Two weeks ago when I tendered my resignation to my employer, I had full intentions of working full-time through October 31st, helping with training and transition.

However, last week was horribly stressful for me. I ended up at home with migraines 2 of the 5 work-days. The stress of resigning, while still trying to keep everyone happy was taking it’s toll on my body, and God’s direction became clearer than ever: let go & fully believe His promise to provide.

When my heart says yes, sometimes God says no.

My heart longs to please people, and to be secure, yet God is asking me to let go of both.

I’ve never fully understood God’s ways, I just know them to be the best, so I often find my self blindly following His lead, while shaking my head dumbfounded at why!?

Before tendering my resignation, I had looked over our finances and felt confident that we could afford for me to quit on October 31st. I knew, “in the future”, God would need to provide, but we were good “until then”.

Quitting earlier than I had intended, puts me in a tail spin of head shaking and questioning why God is asking me to quit now and not when it looks to be easier! I am smiling as I type this, because truth is, believing God isn’t about seeing the results today! Believing God is about seeing His direction today and trusting His promises for tomorrow!

So on Monday, I revised my resignation, told my boss that Friday (tomorrow) would be my last day working full-time and that I’d be willing to work 20 hours a week until the end of September, in order to help with the training & transition.

I had to let go. I had to choose to believe God’s promise to provide and I had to accept “no” from my boss. The initial rejection of my offer hurt at my deepest core. It made me feel worthless and unappreciated.  I struggled feeling guilty for choosing obedience to God & my overall health & happiness, over choosing my boss.

However, as a result of my obedience and acceptance of God’s no, God changed my bosses heart! He found value in my position and accepted my gracious offer to help with the training and transition, and on my terms (God’s terms!).

When God promised He would always provide, He never promised it would be easy to believe that promise, but submitting to His will and choosing to believe, always yields the best results!

I am so grateful for this current chapter of my life; the one where God is teaching me the beauty of believing! I look forward to this next chapter and all He has in store for me and my family!

Thank you for your words of encouragement, love and prayers-you’re such a blessing to my life!

How may I pray for you, friend?

love satin2

 

* * * * *

I enjoy linking up with these (3) fabulous communities:
coffee for your heart-Button-250x250whitespace-badge3 word wednesday

 


16 Comments

You’re in Better Hands

taking my life back

In last week’s post “Be All There” I shared about my full-time job and my lack of peace in leaving yet, in order to work full-time on our business.

In 2012, when my husband and I first started Pelfreybilt Off-Road, God spoke this promise to me:

“I will always provide” 

He didn’t say He would provide sometimes, or maybe, or if I prayed hard enough, He said always. And He has always made good on that promise, even when it looked like bills would not be paid.  Always, God provided.

As you know, I typically post on Wednesday or Thursday, but this week that didn’t happen because I’ve been wrestling with God over this promise, and my fear of letting go and fully trusting Him.

I’ve been saying in one breath that I trust God and that He’s never failed me, yet in the next breath saying I’m afraid of letting go of a full time job that comes with the (false) security blanket of a steady income!

The reason I haven’t had peace about leaving my job, is because I’ve been waiting for peace to come after the black and white of our finances proved to me that God will provide. Instead of putting my complete trust in the One who promised to provide, instead of choosing to find my security in the only One who is secure, I’ve been clinging to something fleeting & temporary.

I have been clinging to my job for stability, instead of clinging to the Ultimate Stabilizer, the very one who stabilized the raging storms with three small words: “Peace, Be Still” (Mark 4:39)

False security and fear stems from unbelief in Jehovah Jireh, Our Provider.  (Genesis 22:14)

In my prayer time, God asked me “How can I fully bless you, when you won’t let go long enough to embrace what I’m giving you?”  He showed me, my lack of faith in His provision, has caused me to cling so tightly to my false security, that I couldn’t see the life and joy I was squeezing right out of my hands!

Lifeless

Joyless

Empty

Miserable

These have been the words of my heart as of late, as I desperately cling to false security.

I just started reading Hands Free Mama, by Rachel Macy Stafford, and in her intro she says these words:

“How do I do it all?
I miss out on life-that’s how I do it all.
I miss out on what truly matters;
and what I miss, I can’t get back.”

After wrestling with God, I actually sat down and looked over our finances and for the first time, began to see, that we truly could afford for me not to work anywhere but in our business.  God also opened my eyes to see the LIFE and JOY I will be regaining by taking this leap of faith!

I’m tired of missing out, so I’m letting go, friend! I gave my verbal resignation to my employer on Friday and will be leaving October 31, 2014.  (I’m helping with the hiring, training & transition process)

The peace and JOY that now floods my heart and mind is inexpressible!  I’m getting my life back, the one God has so richly blessed me with; I’m taking it back and releasing my fears to the One who holds my tomorrows and who promises to provide today!

I am truly in the best hands and so are you, sweet friend, so are you!

love satin2


7 Comments

Be All There

wherever you are-be all there

Last week I wrote about waiting, and focused the post on my current wait for a baby.  What I didn’t mention is that, in addition to waiting for a baby, I am also waiting for God to open the doors for me to lay aside my full-time job, so I can start working full-time from home, on the business my husband and I run together (Pelfreybilt Off-Road).

When I read Jim Elliot’s quote, the verse from Luke 16:10 came to mind:

“Whoever can be trusted with very little
can also be trusted with a lot.
Whoever is dishonest with very little
is dishonest with a lot.”

In all honestly, my attitude has been less than desirable lately. I go to bed and wake up dreading work, and while I’m there I’m often grumbling under my breath about being there.

I’ve been asking God to deliver me from the current mess at my work, while asking Him why He hasn’t opened the doors for me to leave, so I no longer have to balance two jobs, while caring for my family.  I see Him moving mountains and opening doors; our business is growing and I see light at the end of the tunnel.  However, I just don’t feel at peace quitting my job, yet. So I Wait.

When I read the quote by Jim Elliot my heart sank.

How can I ever expect God to bless our business, and honor the fruit of my labor, if only part of my labor is done with a pure heart?

How can God bless me, when I’m cursing him, through my actions of disbelief, by not exhibiting a good attitude where He has called me to serve, today?

As confident as I am that God will be moving me on soon, God cannot bless when my heart is impure, my actions are lacking integrity, and I am failing to be faithful in the small things He has called me to, for this season of my life.

In the past, my Mom and I have discussed how certain challenges, often present themselves as tests. If we fail them the first time, we have to keep repeating them until we pass!  That said, until God finds me faithful in the small things, the mundane things, and the less desirable things, He cannot bless me with the bigger things.

The flip side of Luke 16:10 comes from Luke 12:48:

“If you are given much,
much will be required of you.
If much is entrusted to you,
much will be expected of you.”

If God were to open the doors for me to quit my current job, in order to focus on our business, would I be faithful? I say that I would be, yet here I am, in the small things, right where we wants me today, and grumbling like the Israelites! (Numbers 14:2)

It is my job to live in a way that pleases God and makes Him eager to bless me. (Malachi 3:10)

* * * *

How about you, friend? Is there something God has called you to do today that you’re struggling to do with a pure heart? I would love to hear how you are working through your time of waiting.

 love satin2

* * * * *

I enjoy linking up with these (4) fabulous communities:
coffee for your heart-Button-250x250whitespace-badge3 word wednesdayWords-of-Life-200


18 Comments

So I Wait

a no today often means a yes is on the way

Anyone who knows me, knows the biggest dream of my heart is to be a mother, so I keep reminding myself that God is using this time of waiting to move mountains before He releases His little angel into our care.  As much as I cling to that hope, and God’s promise to grant the desires of my heart, I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you that I wake up each morning with a sadness for what is to come, yet has not arrived.

These days I am clinging to Psalm 27:13:
“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.”

So I Wait.

I am daily reminded of God’s goodness & faithfulness.

I talk to a sweet friend who experienced infertility for many years before having 4 children of her own. Another dear friend of mine thought having a baby was part of God’s plan, yet instead she was called to be a word mama and years later became the proud mama to an adopted 20 year old young lady! A new friend struggled with infertility and adoption, and is on this journey of waiting right along side me.

The point? I am not alone and neither are you!

Many of us are waiting together, so I want to whisper to your heart: the journey of waiting doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.

Did you catch that?

Just because God doesn’t give us our “yes” right now, doesn’t mean we’re doing anything wrong, or that we’re failing some test we think He’s giving us.  Life is simply not designed to be viewed with the natural eye.  Jesus says in Matthew 11:15He who has ears to hear, let him hear.” 

My understanding of this scripture is not that it means to “listen up”, rather it means to “tune in” to His heart for us; to hear His voice for us, to follow His call on us, and to have His ears in all circumstances of our lives. To be ONE with The One Who’s heart beats for us and Who longs to give us all good things. (Matthew 7:11 NLT)

A “no” today, often means a “yes” is on the way.

I look back on my life and how God answered my prayers with firm “no’s”.  At the time I couldn’t understand why He said “no”, but now I see more clearly and can truly embrace with confidence that His timing is perfect, even when it’s not mine and even though I may not understand.

So I Wait.

 “But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.”.
Isaiah 40:31 NKJV

Friend, whatever you are waiting for, trust the One who planted the desire in your heart, and hold fast to the hope that in His perfect time He will grant the desires of your heart.  In the meantime, keep walking this journey and keep being YOU!

love satin2

* * * * *

I enjoy linking up with these (4) fabulous communities:
coffee for your heart-Button-250x250whitespace-badge3 word wednesdayWords-of-Life-200