My God-sized Dreams Backstory

February 3, 2014
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My God-sized Dreams Backstory

Tears are forming in my eyes as I sit here tonight writing this. Originally, I deleted my  scheduled post because I just didn’t feel brave enough to share the backstory to my God-sized Dreams.  But here I am, shaking in my slippers & praying God can use my testimony to bless & encourage you.

When I introduce myself as flawed & messy, it’s because I’m truly just that.  My past is tattered with two failed marriages, physical & emotional abuse & adultery.  I used to be in church ministry, attended regularly, and was betrayed there as well.  I’ve made mistakes I’m not proud of, hurt people I never intended to hurt & been wounded by people I trusted far more than I should have.

I’m flawed & messy, but God’s love, grace, forgiveness & healing have touched my life in ways I could never have imagined.

I am happily married to my best friend (Tyler), who has a beautiful little boy with whom I love as though he were my own. Tyler loves & accepts me, in spite of my past, because it is through all the pain, the failures & the healing that God molded me into the woman I am today & the woman he fell in love with.  I can’t begin to tell you how amazing it feels to be loved this much.  To be accepted, appreciated & cherished for being me. I’m safe in Jesus & He’s given me a husband with whom my heart is also safe.

I’ll be honest with you. One of the biggest reasons I’ve held back my dreams is because I’ve carried this lie of a scarlet letter on my forehead.  The one that says because of my past failures, I’m unfit to be used by God. The lie that says my past doesn’t warrant God’s blessings.  Lies that ask, how could God use me to encourage others when I hurt so many in my past.  Who would want to hear from me? What do I have to offer other than a tattered past?

Then Jesus steps in & whispers to my heart:

scarlet letter 500x500

I wish that hearing Jesus whisper those words to my heart, would mean I’m not scared anymore, but truth is, I’m still scared. I’m scared of being judged. I’m scared of being talked about. I’m scared of being betrayed.  However, I’m walking through those fears with Jesus!

I am confident of this:

When Jesus speaks, it is Truth & when He forgave me, He gave me a clean slate.

“As far as the east is from the west,
so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.”
Psalm 103:12

I am confident of this:

People may judge me, people may talk about me & people may betray me, but Jesus has forgiven me & sees me as beautiful.

“No weapon formed against you shall prosper,
And every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
And their righteousness is from Me,” Says the Lord.

Isaiah 54:7 NKJV

I am confident of this:

Jesus Words for me are pure & true!  I choose Jesus over fear.

“But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood,
a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises
of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light;”
I Peter 2:9 NKJV

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me,
Because He has anointed Me To preach the gospel to the poor;

He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives

And recovery of sight to the blind,
To set at liberty those who are oppressed;”

Luke 4:18 NKJV

How about you? Is your past holding you back from the Dreams God has for you?

I can’t encourage you enough to grasp the hand of the Dream Giver, and embark on the journey He has for you.

The journey to healing won’t be easy, you may not know what’s next, but with Jesus by your side, you’re sure to make it through!

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god-sized dreamers

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21 Comments

  1. Kristin Smith on February 4, 2014 at 4:03 AM

    LOVE this!! We all wear a perceived scarlet letter don’t we? So grateful that through Christ we can put those to rest!! Thanks so much for this honest and encouraging post!!

    • Satin P on February 4, 2014 at 8:26 AM

      Kristin, your love & encouragement means so much! Thank you!! ♥

  2. sonyamacdesigns on February 4, 2014 at 5:55 AM

    Love this Satin!

    • Satin P on February 4, 2014 at 8:25 AM

      Thank you, Sonya for stopping by & showing love! ♥

  3. Mel on February 4, 2014 at 8:06 AM

    Such bravery in your words today…clapping and cheering for you, sweet sister, because He’s got this. He’s got YOU and your dreams…and incredible plans for your future. 🙂 Hugs and prayers for you!

    • Satin P on February 4, 2014 at 8:24 AM

      ♥ Can’t tell you how much your words mean to me, Mel! Thank you!! Love to you!! ♥

  4. mandymianecki on February 4, 2014 at 11:48 AM

    “We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the words of our testimony…” So proud of you for bravely stepping out and sharing your story. Way to go, dreamer!

    • Satin P on February 4, 2014 at 11:55 AM

      Oh Mandy, Thank you so much for your love! You are so right! We are overcomer’s through Christ! Love to you! ♥

  5. Alecia on February 4, 2014 at 11:56 AM

    Wow, friend. Thank you for sharing your heart. Lies are the only thing that hold us back from freedom and a full life. God is using you!!!

    • Satin P on February 4, 2014 at 11:58 AM

      Alecia: You nailed it ” Lies are the only thing that hold us back from freedom and a full life.” Thank you for your endless support & love! It’s a blessing to walk this journey with you! ♥

  6. Valerie Sisco on February 4, 2014 at 1:14 PM

    Satin,
    I especially love what you’re confident in — Jesus — and how he conquers fear and judgment — thank you for sharing your heart!

    • Satin P on February 4, 2014 at 1:17 PM

      Thank you for stopping by, Valerie & for showing love. Jesus is ALL I cam confident in… He is the only One never to fail me! 😉 ♥ He’s my Rock!

  7. Veronica Carr Yerger on February 4, 2014 at 5:22 PM

    Those are some powerful slippers!!! So brave! Thank you for sharing your <3 with us. When I first got divorced I felt that same way…and for a few years when I first admitted to having an eating disorder…like I had a scarlet letter. It was God who showed me I was made for so much more in both situations <3 Jesus is our strength, he will never leave us or forsake us!

    • Satin P on February 4, 2014 at 7:47 PM

      Friend, thank you so much for popping in today & sharing encouragement! Isn’t God amazing? He truly is our strength! I love that you shared a little of your testimony here-Thank you! 🙂 Love to you & I’ll pass those slippers around anytime… we ALL could use some bravery sometimes! 😉 ♥

  8. Katie (@AGracefulGirl) on February 5, 2014 at 12:33 PM

    I want to comment, but the words aren’t coming. I feel like you’ve seen right into my heart and you’ve gently spoken truth. I wish we were friends because I feel you understand…

    • Satin P on February 5, 2014 at 1:08 PM

      Sending extra love to you today, Katie!! xoxo ♥

  9. Chronicles of Claire on February 9, 2014 at 8:37 PM

    So brave and so good!

    • Satin P on February 10, 2014 at 10:01 AM

      Thank you for stopping by! 🙂

  10. Lisa on February 20, 2014 at 9:45 AM

    Thank-you for your honesty and encouragement that we have been chosen by God and all we have to do is choose him x

    • Satin P on February 20, 2014 at 9:47 AM

      Love to you today, Lisa! Thank you for taking the time to stop by! ♥

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Satin Pelfrey

Satin is a writer, wife and stepmom encouraging others through the hard days, bringing the Scriptures alive through life-application and drawing them closer to Jesus.

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