My Heart, His Words

Let the Words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your site, O Lord.


Be All There

wherever you are-be all there

Last week I wrote about waiting, and focused the post on my current wait for a baby.  What I didn’t mention is that, in addition to waiting for a baby, I am also waiting for God to open the doors for me to lay aside my full-time job, so I can start working full-time from home, on the business my husband and I run together (Pelfreybilt Off-Road).

When I read Jim Elliot’s quote, the verse from Luke 16:10 came to mind:

“Whoever can be trusted with very little
can also be trusted with a lot.
Whoever is dishonest with very little
is dishonest with a lot.”

In all honestly, my attitude has been less than desirable lately. I go to bed and wake up dreading work, and while I’m there I’m often grumbling under my breath about being there.

I’ve been asking God to deliver me from the current mess at my work, while asking Him why He hasn’t opened the doors for me to leave, so I no longer have to balance two jobs, while caring for my family.  I see Him moving mountains and opening doors; our business is growing and I see light at the end of the tunnel.  However, I just don’t feel at peace quitting my job, yet. So I Wait.

When I read the quote by Jim Elliot my heart sank.

How can I ever expect God to bless our business, and honor the fruit of my labor, if only part of my labor is done with a pure heart?

How can God bless me, when I’m cursing him, through my actions of disbelief, by not exhibiting a good attitude where He has called me to serve, today?

As confident as I am that God will be moving me on soon, God cannot bless when my heart is impure, my actions are lacking integrity, and I am failing to be faithful in the small things He has called me to, for this season of my life.

In the past, my Mom and I have discussed how certain challenges, often present themselves as tests. If we fail them the first time, we have to keep repeating them until we pass!  That said, until God finds me faithful in the small things, the mundane things, and the less desirable things, He cannot bless me with the bigger things.

The flip side of Luke 16:10 comes from Luke 12:48:

“If you are given much,
much will be required of you.
If much is entrusted to you,
much will be expected of you.”

If God were to open the doors for me to quit my current job, in order to focus on our business, would I be faithful? I say that I would be, yet here I am, in the small things, right where we wants me today, and grumbling like the Israelites! (Numbers 14:2)

It is my job to live in a way that pleases God and makes Him eager to bless me. (Malachi 3:10)

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How about you, friend? Is there something God has called you to do today that you’re struggling to do with a pure heart? I would love to hear how you are working through your time of waiting.

 love satin2

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I enjoy linking up with these (4) fabulous communities:
coffee for your heart-Button-250x250whitespace-badge3 word wednesdayWords-of-Life-200


So I Wait

a no today often means a yes is on the way

Anyone who knows me, knows the biggest dream of my heart is to be a mother, so I keep reminding myself that God is using this time of waiting to move mountains before He releases His little angel into our care.  As much as I cling to that hope, and God’s promise to grant the desires of my heart, I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you that I wake up each morning with a sadness for what is to come, yet has not arrived.

These days I am clinging to Psalm 27:13:
“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.”

So I Wait.

I am daily reminded of God’s goodness & faithfulness.

I talk to a sweet friend who experienced infertility for many years before having 4 children of her own. Another dear friend of mine thought having a baby was part of God’s plan, yet instead she was called to be a word mama and years later became the proud mama to an adopted 20 year old young lady! A new friend struggled with infertility and adoption, and is on this journey of waiting right along side me.

The point? I am not alone and neither are you!

Many of us are waiting together, so I want to whisper to your heart: the journey of waiting doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.

Did you catch that?

Just because God doesn’t give us our “yes” right now, doesn’t mean we’re doing anything wrong, or that we’re failing some test we think He’s giving us.  Life is simply not designed to be viewed with the natural eye.  Jesus says in Matthew 11:15He who has ears to hear, let him hear.” 

My understanding of this scripture is not that it means to “listen up”, rather it means to “tune in” to His heart for us; to hear His voice for us, to follow His call on us, and to have His ears in all circumstances of our lives. To be ONE with The One Who’s heart beats for us and Who longs to give us all good things. (Matthew 7:11 NLT)

A “no” today, often means a “yes” is on the way.

I look back on my life and how God answered my prayers with firm “no’s”.  At the time I couldn’t understand why He said “no”, but now I see more clearly and can truly embrace with confidence that His timing is perfect, even when it’s not mine and even though I may not understand.

So I Wait.

 “But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.”.
Isaiah 40:31 NKJV

Friend, whatever you are waiting for, trust the One who planted the desire in your heart, and hold fast to the hope that in His perfect time He will grant the desires of your heart.  In the meantime, keep walking this journey and keep being YOU!

love satin2

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I enjoy linking up with these (4) fabulous communities:
coffee for your heart-Button-250x250whitespace-badge3 word wednesdayWords-of-Life-200


Jesus in You

I recently read a passage out of Luke Chapter 1 that really jumped out at me:

“And it happened, when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, that the babe leaped in her womb; and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. Then she spoke out with a loud voice and said, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb! But why is this granted to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? For indeed, as soon as the voice of your greeting sounded in my ears, the babe leaped in my womb for joy.Luke 1:41-44

The day I read this passage, was the same day that I had received a Voxer message from a very special friend.  Hearing her voice made me feel just like Elizabeth when she heard the voice of Mary!  No, I’m not pregnant (trusting God’s timing), but here’s the awesome part: hearing my friends voice, was like hearing the voice of Jesus. She was God’s voice to me, in a time when I needed a word of encouragement and prayer.

When I read this passage, I realized for the first time, that although Elizabeth’s baby leaped for joy inside his mamma’s womb at the sound of Mary’s voice, it wasn’t because Mary spoke, or even that she walked into the room: it was JESUS IN HER!

2 corinthians 4 7

Mary was simply a willing vessel, yielded to God, for such a time as this.  Other than the amazing fact that Mary gave birth to the Son of God, how are we any different than her?  If we are full of the Holy Spirit, then His power within us brings JOY & HOPE to those around us!

“To them God willed to make known what are the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles: which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.Colossians 1:27

Friend, Christ in YOU, the hope of glory!  Like the infamous saying goes, “You may be the only Jesus people see!”  What do you want Him to look like to the world?

All the dreams we hold in our hearts & walk out in faith, yielded to Jesus, become blessings poured out on the thirstiest of souls, the driest of hearts & the weariest of souls.  Friends, WE get to be vessels Jesus can use for His glory! Isn’t that amazing? And oh the responsibility.

“He has shown you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justly,
To love mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God?”
Micah 6:8

No longer can we point to someone else as being the vessel Jesus wants to use:
He wants me & He wants you.

Jesus in me,



What’s Next?

The planner in me, is forever asking “What’s next?” After a great success, I rarely take much time to celebrate or even rest before I’m off & running to the next project, task or goal.  “Go, go, go!”  is just how I’m wired!

Right now, my life is filled to the brim. I work a full-time job, run a “side” business with my husband, help raise his son, we’re trying to conceive & now I’m blogging!  My cup runneth over, no doubt!

Today, I find myself asking, “What’s Next?” Not because I don’t have enough on my plate already, but because I’m questioning my boundaries as well as my focus & goals. (Check out this amazing post I read today on boundaries!)

We’re trying to conceive & I’m trying not to fret about it. As my Mom says, “Let nature takes it’s course. Not everything has  to be so scientific.”  She’s right you know!?  We live in a world that constantly strives to understand every dot & tiddle, tries to map out every journey & tries to predict the outcome of every situation.  Where is God in all of that?  Don’t get me wrong, I’m a planner, I understand the need for, & crave order, organization & planning.  However, I love the saying I occasionally see that says, “I plan, God laughs”.

Being 35, and trying to conceive, a few well-meaning people in my life, have asked if I’m using an ovulation predictor kit, or if I plan on trying Clomid to “boost” my chances of pregnancy.  My heart clearly says “no thank you” to all outside help. However, I’d be lying if I told you that the planner in me isn’t tempted to try at least the ovulation predictor kits.  I’m a planner… why not plan this? However, this is precisely the thing I feel God whispering to my heart:

trust me

At this time in my life, God is truly breaking, molding & making me into the woman He desires me to be. I keep finding myself at a state of brokenness, right when I feel like I have it all together.  It’s humbling to know I really don’t have it all together, it’s challenging to let go, and it’s exciting because it’s bringing a little spontaneity into my over-planned life!

So if it takes me a year to get pregnant, then I choose to accept that as part of God’s plan. I may not understand it, I may not even like it, but my heart chooses to trust the very God who made me in my mother’s womb & who numbered every hair on my head. I choose to trust the God who hung the moon & stars, who has placed a call on my life, planted the desire of motherhood in my heart & blessed me with a husband willing to give me the greatest desires of my heart. I choose to trust God.

psalm 28.7

How about you? Is there something you’re holding on so tightly to, for fear that if you let go, God will forget? Friend, I feel your pain, I understand your worry, but I am here to say, God’s timing can’t be beat! He’s got it under control… He & only He knows what’s next!



My God-Sized Dreams Unfolding

When Holley started her devotional series on God-Sized Dreams, I had no idea how it could or would apply to me. I gleaned & am still gleaning much from this series, as well as her book “You’re Made for a God-Sized Dream”

From the time I was a little girl, I’ve had this burning desire to be a mother.  I am the blessed step-mamma to my husbands beautiful little boy & can’t tell you how bitter sweet it’s been.  For a season, I thought I was never going to be able to have a child of my own, because in the early stages of my relationship with my husband (then boyfriend), after both of us going through horrible divorces with our exes, he chose to have a vasectomy.  They say that when going through a difficult time, never to make a big decision.


As true as this statement is, neither of us were very wise in the decision to go through with the vasectomy. I didn’t want to pressure him against it, and he had good reasons for wanting it, so I just supported him.

Each year that passed after we were married on 9.10.2011, I agonized over the reality that I would never be able to have a child unless my husband had a vasectomy reversal.  I prayed, cried, talking with my closest friends, cried more, prayed more, & tried to just forget my life-long dream of being a mother.  I tried to convince myself that being a step-mamma was all that God wanted me to be.  However, no matter how hard I tried, my heart still ached to have a child of my own.  My prayer to God was much like Gideon’s when he laid the fleece before God each night.  Judges 6:35-37 I prayed: “if it is your will for us to have a child, then please change Tyler’s heart so that he will want a child & be willing to have the vasectomy reversal.  If it is NOT your will for us to have a child, please change my heart & give me contentment & peace about not being a mother.”

Fast forward to today & I am rejoicing over the fact that God answered my prayer & changed my husbands heart.  He had the vasectomy reversal the week before Thanksgiving (2013) & that became my Thanksgiving Prayer.  A year ago I didn’t think we would be where we are today. I had all but given up on my dream. However, God obviously has other plans for us.  We still aren’t pregnant yet & have no idea when we will be {& that is okay}, but to watch my God-Sized Dream unfolding before my very eyes brings tears to my face every time. It’s amazing to watch what God will do when we lay our hearts, broken & tattered at His feet; let go & let Him hold our hearts in His hands, molding & making beauty from ashes.

In addition to this God-Sized dream {as if one dream isn’t enough, right?}, I’m finally pursuing my life-long dream of writing. I’ve never felt like I had anything to offer the world in the way of words. I mean what will I write about? What do I say? How do I start? Where do I plug in? I’m definitely a “word girl”. I love writing & always have.  With much encouragement from my Mother, husband & a few of my closest friends, I’m taking a giant leap of faith & pursuing my writing through my blog, “My Heart, His Words”.  I hope you’ll join me on my journey.