When Tears Fall

January 22, 2014
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I’m a sensitive person. I’ve been told that since I was a little girl, and bless my heart, I’ve worked at not being so sensitive, but the truth is, God made me sensitive so there’s got to be a reason, right?

I used to sing on the worship team at church.  Occasionally I was blessed with the opportunity to sing a solo, for which I would pray & carefully select my song.  I always had a knack for choosing songs that were from the heart; ones that made me cry when I sang them (ha ha).  My dad was my vocal coach for these moments & while he loved my passion, he would always remind me that the message gets lost in the tears.  So I worked & worked at getting the tears to fall before I got on that platform to present my song, so they wouldn’t “ruin” my message. However, I was never that successful!  I wouldn’t completely break down & cry, but I would mess up a few words, choke the tears back & continue on.  Regardless of my tears, the message was still clear: I was a willing vessel Jesus could use.

Fast forward to today, I’m sitting at my computer, typing a post for my blog and the tears start rolling. It’s like déjà vu, but 15 years later! I’m the girl trying to present a message from the heart, with tears rolling down her face.  Even as I read my posts to my husband for proofing, I can’t choke back the tears! I stop, hang my head & just sob as I push out the words, “I can’t ever read these posts without crying!”

I remember, at the young age of 2, standing in our living room at Christmastime & my daddy asking me to sing Jesus Loves Me.  He wanted to record me singing, so he handed me a microphone, cued the recorder & told me to go for it.  I started singing, and then started crying. I wasn’t crying because I was scared or didn’t want to sing, I was crying because I was singing from my heart!

In reflecting on these tearful moments, I’m realizing that when I do anything from my heart, I cry. The place where I am most vulnerable, the place where I am the purest, is a place where the tears flow freely & my heart-message can be heard.

So when the tears fall, I have two choices: I can either choke them back & squelch the Holy Spirit at work in my heart, or I can let them flow freely, embracing His touch in my life & allow Him to use me.  I choose the latter. It may not be pretty or elegant & I may end up with mascara running down my cheeks, but when the message is sent, I know in my heart that it came from the purest place within me & there is nothing in the world any greater.

Tears did fall today… 🙂

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7 Comments

  1. Deb Wolf on January 22, 2014 at 9:12 AM

    Satin, This is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. A vulnerable and open tender heart is always beautiful!

    • Satin P on January 22, 2014 at 9:24 AM

      Thank you, Deb for the encouragement! ♥

  2. Mary on January 22, 2014 at 9:16 AM

    I remember these times so very well. Let the tears flow!

    • Satin P on January 22, 2014 at 9:25 AM

      🙂 I’m sure you do, Mom! Thank you for always being here for me… you’re such a gift to this daughter! xo ♥

  3. Simply Beth on January 23, 2014 at 2:23 PM

    Let those tears flow. I’m a cryer too. Many military moms say they hold back their tears when saying good-bye to their child…me, I let them flow. To me they are my way of telling him how much I love him. I’m always reminded of the verse from Psalm 56:8 – “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.”
    So, let those tears flow! Your words and heart are beautiful. I’m so glad you found your way to TWW and to have *met* in the online world.

    • Satin P on January 23, 2014 at 2:29 PM

      Oh boy, Beth, ya made me well up with tears! {giggle} Thank you so much! Ya know, I almost used that verse in this post… totally thought of it myself!! Thanks for sharing & for being so loving & welcoming! I love our little community!! 🙂 ♥

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Satin Pelfrey

Satin is a writer, wife and stepmom encouraging others through the hard days, bringing the Scriptures alive through life-application and drawing them closer to Jesus.

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